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submitted: 2008-04-05 00:05:12 | by: SarahLove
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Everyone has a past of some kind - an ex-wife, ex-girlfriend or girl FRIENDS that they have had some kind of relationship with. If you are human, then more than likely you have felt some kind of jealousy over these relationships that your current man has.

Jealousy can happen in many different situations. Perhaps he crossed the line and cheated on you. Or maybe he is goggling some busty babe across the bar. Or maybe he is even just having a simple conversation with a co-worker that you find threatening for some reason.

Jealousy is certainly a horrible emotion - it has pain, anger, fear, revulsion and even guilt mixed into it sometimes. And that is regardless of whether the jealousy is founded or unfounded. You can't help it, it is just THERE and eating away at you.

Let's look at two types of jealousy - founded and unfounded. Jealousy that is reasonable would be when your boyfriend or husband has cheated on you. Jealousy that is NOT reasonable is getting mad about him mentioning his ex-girlfriend, or running into her in the store.

Jealousy that is rational - such as your man cheating on you, is a signal flare. You cannot ignore these feelings. These feelings definitely indicate that you and your man have some serious issues that you need to work on - together. If he will not work with you on them and he is making you feel like something other than numero uno - you need to find someone who will treat you better.

What your emotions are telling you that you may not understand at that point is that he is making you feel like a second class citizen in your relationship. This lack of balance is difficult to deal with, and if it is not corrected, will lead to a lopsided relationship - where perhaps you are doing all the giving or all the taking. Those relationships don't last.

Now the second kind of jealousy is jealousy about things in the past, or inconsequential things. First of all - EVERYONE HAS A PAST. Including you. If you are jealous over things that happened in the past with your man, then that is a problem YOU need to work on and get rid of.

Being jealous over things that are inconsequential is a red flag for insecurity, and that is when you need to take some time for yourself and discover what it is inside you that you are actually afraid of.

Sometimes, women even get jealous about things that have not even occurred. Say for instance you see your man talking to a co-worker at a party and they are laughing and having a good time. This is another emotional response to fear and insecurity. You need to look at what HE is doing and tell yourself, "It IS what it IS. Nothing."

When jealousy is founded in legitimate emotion - it means that something needs corrected quickly within your relationship. If you are becoming jealous over insignificant things, then you need to do a self-check, and correct the things within yourself that are out of balance.

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